I’m not angry
I’m Not Depressed
A little Moody?
Yes
But I let it out.
I write. I sing. I cry.
I don’t do these things because
I want or need your sympathy
Its not a cry for help
I’m not about to do something stupid
suicide
homicide
nah, that’s not what I’m about…
Just on a journey
Through my emotions
Trying to get to that place
Where I’m at
Peace
Happy
Content with me
So, please
Don’t be offended
(but then again I don’t really care)
I’m doing this for me…
and remember,
I’m not angry
I’m Not Depressed
A little Moody?
Yes
But I gotta get it out.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Until Then
I didn’t cut you out of my life because I hate you…
I did it because I LOVE you,
And It was the only was for me to continue doing so…
You see,
Sometimes I expect too much from you
I expect you to perform in a certain manner
To talk in a certain way
To respond to me when I need it….
But You ALWAYS let me down
You never come though for me
When I need you
You’re never around
You never have my back
So I had to cut you loose
Maybe one day I’ll either lower my expectations or
You’ll step up... Until then
It’s best that we go our separate ways…
I did it because I LOVE you,
And It was the only was for me to continue doing so…
You see,
Sometimes I expect too much from you
I expect you to perform in a certain manner
To talk in a certain way
To respond to me when I need it….
But You ALWAYS let me down
You never come though for me
When I need you
You’re never around
You never have my back
So I had to cut you loose
Maybe one day I’ll either lower my expectations or
You’ll step up... Until then
It’s best that we go our separate ways…
This One is for You
This One is for You
This one is for you…
you know who you are,
sitting there, with that smug look upon your face.
Wondering…hoping…praying
that I don’t put you out there
the way you did me…
I guess you thought
that I’d forgotten,
just because I don’t talk about it,
or show you just how much
I hurt ..
everyday.
You stand there and smile as you
carry on with your life…
as if nothing ever happened,
so caviler
so ignorant
to the pain you’ve caused
the separation you’ve created
the wound that will never
heal!
You knew, but you didn’t care!
you knew that what we had
was already “broken”
You knew that anything
could set it off…
but instead of being
the "friend" you claim to be
You became a predator
and took it all for granted.
Some nerve!
to sit there and act shocked
when my “emotional roller-coaster”
as you call it
comes down, and reaches new lows
and I treat you like shit
and ignore you
and deny you
all that I can offer
my heart…my love…my strength…
Yeah, I’m talking to you!
You disgust me…
I almost can’t stand
to look you in the face
let alone your eyes
Those brown eyes
that used to speak
so deeply into my soul
now burn my heart!!
Why? How could You?
You made this decision for me
you wanted us to be where we are
and there’s no going back
and things will never be the same…
Yeah, this one is for you…
you know who you are,
sitting there, with that smug look upon your face.
This one is for you…
you know who you are,
sitting there, with that smug look upon your face.
Wondering…hoping…praying
that I don’t put you out there
the way you did me…
I guess you thought
that I’d forgotten,
just because I don’t talk about it,
or show you just how much
I hurt ..
everyday.
You stand there and smile as you
carry on with your life…
as if nothing ever happened,
so caviler
so ignorant
to the pain you’ve caused
the separation you’ve created
the wound that will never
heal!
You knew, but you didn’t care!
you knew that what we had
was already “broken”
You knew that anything
could set it off…
but instead of being
the "friend" you claim to be
You became a predator
and took it all for granted.
Some nerve!
to sit there and act shocked
when my “emotional roller-coaster”
as you call it
comes down, and reaches new lows
and I treat you like shit
and ignore you
and deny you
all that I can offer
my heart…my love…my strength…
Yeah, I’m talking to you!
You disgust me…
I almost can’t stand
to look you in the face
let alone your eyes
Those brown eyes
that used to speak
so deeply into my soul
now burn my heart!!
Why? How could You?
You made this decision for me
you wanted us to be where we are
and there’s no going back
and things will never be the same…
Yeah, this one is for you…
you know who you are,
sitting there, with that smug look upon your face.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
It's Official....
Today- a little over one year after walking out of the doors at PBF -I (actually Kyle & I) resigned as members at PBF.
I feel so liberated...
We're thinking about visiting a vew methodist churches (since their tolerance is a little higher than most) tosee what's out there.
Please pray for us as we find a church home that meets our needs.
I feel so liberated...
We're thinking about visiting a vew methodist churches (since their tolerance is a little higher than most) tosee what's out there.
Please pray for us as we find a church home that meets our needs.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Impossible is nothing
“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” - from an addidas advertisement
Sleep not necessary
I'm sitting here at 4:09 blogging....
Three's company is on in the background...I hate that show, but there's nothing else on, and I can't sleep.
Ever since December 31st, I've been unable get to and stay asleep. Yeah, I'm tired (tired as hell actually) but as soon as my head hits the pillow, my mind starts racing. All kinds of thoughts are entertained, stuff as simple as taking down the Christmas tree, to more sever pressing issues that I'd rater not discuss at this hour.
Arrrgghhh...
Maybe I need to change my routines, perhaps take vitamins a little earlier in the day versus mid-day, maybe work out a little less, maybe drink decaf tea (whoa, that's going too far...lol)..Maybe the annual "holiday"depression that I thought I successfully avoided this year decided to pay me a visit??? What ever it is, something's gotta give!
Sleepily yours
-Trish
Three's company is on in the background...I hate that show, but there's nothing else on, and I can't sleep.
Ever since December 31st, I've been unable get to and stay asleep. Yeah, I'm tired (tired as hell actually) but as soon as my head hits the pillow, my mind starts racing. All kinds of thoughts are entertained, stuff as simple as taking down the Christmas tree, to more sever pressing issues that I'd rater not discuss at this hour.
Arrrgghhh...
Maybe I need to change my routines, perhaps take vitamins a little earlier in the day versus mid-day, maybe work out a little less, maybe drink decaf tea (whoa, that's going too far...lol)..Maybe the annual "holiday"depression that I thought I successfully avoided this year decided to pay me a visit??? What ever it is, something's gotta give!
Sleepily yours
-Trish
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