A letter to a man I know...

Hey Buddy! What’s up? How are you? I haven’t seen or heard from you in almost a year, and I miss you. Wow! A lot has changed since you left …

When I first met you I remember thinking, hey who’s this young dude standing up there talking to everybody… I immediately liked you. I thought that you were people oriented, and you got things done. My husband on the other hand thought that you were a show off... It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that he realized that you weren’t. Man I really miss you!

I remember you had a family. A beautiful brown skinned wife with a wonderful “we can do it” attitude and two lively children. How are they?

It’s been almost a year since I last saw you. I remember there was some big meeting at our “organization” where you announced your plans to move on, but I was going through some stuff that day, and I totally missed the meeting. I wish I would’ve e-mailed or called you to let you know what I was going through. You were always so helpful and so real with me.. I wish I could e-mail you now, to let you know how I feel about the Team that you left behind. We’re suffering over here. We really are. Half of us are just doing “stuff” and the other half of us have left. And those of us, who are here, need direction. We need someone like you to come back and be real with us. This past year has been so damn watered down from the truth, so sugar coated. So fucking FAKE!

I’m sitting here trying to tell myself that maybe this is all part of my growth, but how can I grow with no support? YOU YELL ME THAT?!? How am I supposed to grow in an environment where every time I try to do something my efforts are squashed? Please tell me? I’m lost, and I’m afraid. I want to leave this stupid organization and go join another. But something is holding me back. Something is telling me that this is where I should be. But I am SO DAMN MISERABLE! I’m tired of showing up and sitting alone, I’m tired of participating ALONE. I’m tired of giving my two cents just to have it thrown backing my face via e-mail or text message. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?

I really just don’t know how much more of this I can take… Here’s what I’m gonna do. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to visit a few organizations, and see what’s out there. Perhaps this Small Organization thingy just isn’t for me... Maybe I need to take some time off of organizations all together. No, I still want to work for the big guy; I mean he’s great... I just don’t like this office…

I’ll get back to you in a few weeks to let you know what happened. I have no idea if you’ll ever see this letter, but maybe someone out there who knows the both of us will direct you to this blog.

Yours Truly,

Patricia