Body Art, the F Bomb, A day unlike any other & Mighty Mouse...

I realize that I haven't blogged in a few days so to make up I am going to try and sum up my weekend in one post.

My Body Art - (Saturday May 10, 2009) - Morning
Saturday Morning I decided against common sense to take the train into town (as my grandmother would call it) and go shopping down at the Liberty Place. The last time I was down town had to be over a year ago, and I told myself then that I would NEVER get back on a Septa Train again. But here I was at 9:30 in the morning sitting across from an older woman with a skirt that was much too short and hairy thighs - please don't ask me how I saw the hair on her thighs, just trust that I never want to be in a situation like that again... It was almost mesmerizing, no matter what I thought about I kept on seeing those damn thighs.

Anyways, I'm sitting there trying my mind my own business (wishing I had an IPod). At Allegheny a woman , who had to be about 40, gets on and sits next to me. She noticed the tattoo on my right arm and starts grilling me on it. "Gal, wat's rong wit chu" I'm looking at her out of the corner of my eye trying to act like I'm either deaf or mute, but it ain't working... she's goes on with "I know you hear me, why you gat that graffiti on your arm? Don't you know that the gud Lawd ain't intend for us to be marking up our bodies with that graffiti". I looked grandma right in the eye and told her that "this graffiti - as you may call it- is a form of artistic expression, and while you may not agree with what I do with my body I am comfortable with what I have to say to God on Judgement day"... She pulls out what looks like he world biggest bible and starts thumbing through it, cussing and damning me to hell all the while. I told her that I would pray for her if she prayed for me and moved tagged up self to another seat.

I ain't gittin on no mo' trains!

The F Bomb - Saturday May 9, 2009 (evening)
Saturday evening, after cleaning the house, and converting a closet into a computer nook we took the kids out for dinner. We get to our destination, and I ask Zoe to unsnap miles from his car seat. She does it without hesitation, and quite pleasantly.Miles starts to climb out of his seat an into the front seat and I tell him that he has to get out through the back... His reply: Awww F**K Mommy! F**K Daddy!

I think Zoe was more shocked than anyone else. I just had to take a deep breath, and talk to the boy before his dad got to him...

A day unlike any other - Sunday May 10, 2009
Okay so you know Sunday was Mother's day. But this mother's day was unique. I told everyone to save their money, since I really didn't want anything - but who knew they would take it so literal.

What made today so unique was that this was the first day in a very long time that I did not spend preparing for Monday. For as long as I can recall I spent Sundays preparing for Monday. I was either doing laundry, cleaning the house, doing Zoe's hair or something... but This day I did nothing and it felt so good...

Mighty Mouse - Monday May 11, 2009
As if this weekend wasn't fun enough, my morning routine was involuntarily cut short when I discovered a mouse still alive in the kitchen trash can. I stumbled upon it - as if there's any other way to find a mouse- while on the phone with a parent who could not understand why we had a no clip on barrette policy in force(this policy has been in force for over 5 months... where has she been?). So I'm doing my thang, phone on the shoulder, dipping bread in French Toast batter, cutting peaches, entertaining kids, listening out for the bell, and listening to Mat Lauer talk to Elizabeth Edwards about her new book & her husband's affair. Just as I'm about to put the trash bag in the can I notice something....

I cut the conversation by telling her its our policy,and I turn down the TV. By now I'm talking out loud to myself wondering what the heck that could be... "Who's sock is this?", "Wait that ain't no sock, is it Dryer lint?", "Who put dryer lint in this trash can?", "Who did laundry here?".. I'm straight tripping y'all and just as I'm reaching into the can to get what I thought was dryer lint, common sense stepped in yelling "Gal wat's rong wit chu?, kan't you see that there is a mouse!" Now I'm in panic mode. There are kids here but I don't wanna freak them out by screaming, and I know ain't none of them gonna be able to help me anyways.. I tell myself that I'm cool as long as the mouse is in the can but then I remember hearing somewhere that a mouse can jump six feet...aaaawww man now I'm really tripping. I do a quick assessment and see who's here, and I start thinking which of the parents I can ask to help me get rid of the mouse... Poppa Wheel! He usually comes in before Kyle, maybe he can do it! Just then the bell rang, I half run half haul a** to the door only to see Momma Wheel & Baby Wheel. I was brutally honest telling Momma wheel that while I was happy to see her, I was hoping Poppa Wheel could come so he could get rid of the mouse... Momma Wheel Looked at me like I had rocks for eyes, and a noodle for a neck and said "well he usually gets a brick and drops it down on it and all you hear is squeak, it's quick"... Just the thought of the squeak sound freaked me out...

*Sidebar - I'm not afraid of mice, but I don't like them. I'm kinda on the fence about killing them (which is kinda messed up) and catching/releasing them especially since that same mouse will probably be back in a few days anyways - it has nothing to do with me being vegan*

So now Momma Wheel and I are walking through the daycare into the kitchen with a big ole rock that I got from the pond, and now 'm concerned with mouse insides getting on my rock - I'm crazy I know- so we put the rock in a bag and BAM! Momma wheel drops the rock on the mouse.

Momma Wheel- "Is he dead?"
Me - "NO! He ain't dead... You missed him."

Now someone has to dig down in the can to get the rock... and that someone turned out to be me...

So we did it again, and again, but nothing.... the sucker got up in a corner.

The bell rang again, and now it's Kyle. I tell him about the tiny terror in the kitchen and he's all like oh "I'll take care of it". I thank Momma Wheel, we share a laugh and she's off. Kyle brings the trash can out front grabs the rock and he's done...

I don't know what he did because I ran away from the scene making sure no kid could be implicated as an accomplice. I didn't even ask.

I know he killed the poor thang... I know he did