The other day someone accused me of being “mean” when asked what I thought about a particular situation. I’m usually one for taking criticism very well, but I had never been called mean before (at least not by an adult), so I was thrown off a little. I asked them to elaborate on why I was “Mean” for speaking my mind and they responded by telling me that what I said was not out of love/or in a loving way….which got me to thinking….
I’m a very honest person, I’m also very opinionated. I speak my mind, I think I’m always right and I love a good debate. But, I DON’T always speak the truth in love… If you ask me how something looks I’ll tell you the truth, even if I think it makes you look stupid. If you ask my opinion I’ll give it to you, even if it makes you uncomfortable... Why?, you ask.. Because I would hate to be the friend that let you go around thinking that you would become the Next American Idol, that you should quit your day job and become a poet, or that those tacky white patent leather espadrilles go with those peach capri’s… and I would expect people to do the same for me.
Have I crossed the line?, maybe...but I think that sometimes you have to be stern (and maybe even mean) to get the point across. I honestly don’t believe that love is always gentle. If it was why would a parent discipline their kid and say I’m doing this because I love you??? You see my point (yes, it may be skewed, but it’s MY point)… Yeah, I’ll admit, I do need to work on my tact, but I don’t think that I should start sugar coating stuff just to make it an easier pill for you to swallow.
How about a compromise. You understand that sometimes things come out mean, but I’m telling you this because I love you, and in return I’ll try (and I say that through clenched teeth) to be a little more mindful that not everyone has thick skin, and perhaps I should be a little more “loving” in my delivery.
2 comments:
Point taken. Well stated. I wish I was more up front with people. I admire that about you. People may not be able to take your feedback right then and there, but when they are alone they will be able to reflect!!
Jen
SO SO SO true!!I've been accused of this and I always think "Well,did you want me to hold your hand and preface it with 'Dear,i love you very much and this is for your own good,I don't mean to hurt you but..?'"There are times when honestly, I couldn't think of a more 'loving'way to say things.oy!
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