Okay, this post has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but its what's on my mind. I'm up relatively early on a Sunday (especially since I don't go to church) thinking about one thing - MY MENSTRUAL CYCLE/HEALTH - NO I'm not trying to conceive, God NO! but lately my cycle has been on my mind. this is gonna be TMI, so if you're timid, you may wanna stop reading now...
still here? okay, I've warned you...
I got my first period (oh, I hate that its called a period) when I was 15 years old. the only knowledge I had of this "special visit" as my grandmother would call it was that it came once a month, and that I would have to count the days in between to know when to expect it again - pretty simple, NOT! I assumed (because no one told me) that one pack of pads could last well over 2 years because one pad per period times 30 pads in a pack...whoa mama! I actually laugh every time I buy a pack of pads nowadays... how naive. when I got that first period (ugh) I thought I was going to bleed out. it was the most awful experience ever. EVER EVA! I was however smart enough to talk to a doctor, who was able to fill me in on some tips and techniques for "handling" this "special time" of the month. what a relief!
I told you this post really had nothing to do with anything, just a simple musing i guess... maybe
anyways, fast forward a few years and I am pretty good with tracking this wild red haired beast that I oddly look forward to seeing every month. I'vee never used any birth control (other than condoms when I was in a non committed relationship...WHAT? I know I'm not the only person to have pre-martial sex), so I kinda rely on her to keep me sane. Latley I've been trying to find alternative means to manage my cycle, with no success. I read somewhere that tampons were no good, so I tried to stop using them... key word tried I LOVE TAMPONS. they're so convenient and easy to use and I like them alot... its kinda like my relationship with milk.... i know its not good for me, and will leave me bloated, and full of farts but I love it =( I'm so stupid for things I love.
so now, the real reason why I'm up at this unusually early Sunday hour, I'm considering using a "menstrual cup". I know a few women who swore by it, but um, I Don't know... something about inserting my fingers into any hole in my body kinda freaks me out a small bit. (go ahead, furrow your brow, and turn your head sideways). I DON'T CARE. I don't dig in my nose, I don't pick at my teeth, I don't mess around in my ears, so what the hell makes me think I'm gonna purposely stick my finger into my vagina?
I remember onetime I went to get fitted for a diagraphm (my grandmothers advice...ugh I could slap her right now) and was so turned off by the whole "process" that I walked out when the doctor went where ever she went...
nope. that is one place my finger or anyone else's (other than a doctor) is going to be hanging out.
So I'm looking online at this menstrual cup thingy, and I'm almost convinced myself to get dressed and go purchase it and save thousands of dollars over the life of my cycle, and contribute to the "greening" of the environment and yada yada yada.. and then some voice says "uh, how does that thing get in there?" I immediately go into panic mode.. is there an applicator? do I swallow it (I'm kidding about the swallowing) does a doctor insert it? what the? how the? and then I black out....
Well, i didn't actually black out, but my mind took me to another place, and I started thinking (or trying to figure out) how a pineapple fresh from the tree (or where ever pineapples grow) would taste. - yes, its that crazy right now. and then something brings me back.
I must admit, there are some things that I am just not comfortable dealing with. sticking my finger into my vagina is definitely one of them. Sorry environmentally friendly menstrual cup, but I cant be down with your shenanigans... it was definitely a nice fantasy - me running through fairmount park with a plastic device snugly inserted without a care in the world... but its just not for me..at least not right now.
wow, what a long nonsense post.
period!
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