I think I might be a Psychopath!

I think I might be a Psychopath?

Recently a number of event have made question my sanity.

First off, I'm in the middle of a "divorce" .  I use quotes, because no paperwork has been filed (there's a long story, that I'll get to in a minute).  In my mind (for all its worth, nowadays) I am in the middle of a horrific divorce that hasn't even started yet.  all that has happened is me saying "I wanna divorce", him saying "no.", me going downtown to "file"- as if things were that easy, and learning why the phrase "its cheaper to keep her" came about.  but all in all, I feel like I don't even care anymore.  Like, if given the choice to stand up and fight or just slip away into the darkness that life has become, I'd - without sounding extra dramatic - chose the latter... 

Secondly, I keep having these anxiety attacks.  the shortness of breath.  the elevated heart beat.  the feelings of running in the street like a crazy person ripping clothing (I'm not how the nakedness fits into this equation) screaming crazy (whatever classifies as crazy) stuff at anyone willing to listen...  I feel like I keep having to talk myself off the ledge. 

Thirdly, I don't know if this is a symptom but I've been increasingly selfish. I guess when the matters come directly to me i get emotional, but other people, not so much..

I guess me getting my hands on a DSM-IV doesn't help matters much...  

Maybe I'm a hypochondriac (I spelled that right on the FIRST try) its the small victories.

Maybe I should see someone... key word being maybe.   What do I say?  Hi, my name is Trish, and I might be a Psychopath.   Is the fact that I think I'm a psychopath the first sign that I'm NOT a psychopath?  I mean wouldn't I have to think that there's nothing wrong with me?  Maybe I just need to chill out... 

One thing I'm sure about is that there is DEFINITELY something wrong with me..

I need help.

disclaimer - this is NOT a cry for help.