Work on me...

It's Easter and I'm not at Church. It's not because I don't have a church home, or because no one invited me...It's because of my Pride.

For the past three months, my Pride has stopped me from going to church. What started out as a quiet conversation with myself turned into this big blown out thing about not being respected, cared for or even noticed.... It's ridiculous I know, but at what point do you set your pride aside (even though the feelings are still there) and get on with your life???

In these three months I've visited other churches, talked with ministry leaders, and I've gotten the same response every time..."hmmmmmmm" Even friends don't really have anything to say about it. Am I crazy?

I heard once that "Hell is real, and in fact it is the point in your life where you are furthest from the Grace of God." According to this saying, once you step away from god depression, anger, envy and all those other sins fill the void of God's love. God's Grace. God.

So as I sit here this Easter Sunday - Feeling God's Arms wrap around me (as Zoe describes the warmth of the sun)- and I wonder if this "slight feeling of depression" is Hell???

How did things get so far? All I wanted was validation. All I wanted, no needed was for people to respect and understand my point of view. Do I have to scream at the top of my lungs that MY SON'S NAME IS NOT KYLE, or that I HATE BEING CALLED PAT?

All I can do at this point is Pray that God continues to work on me. Work on my pride issues, I know how stubborn or unrealistic I can be at times. Work on my sin issues. Help me to learn your word and apply it to MY LIFE! WORK ON ME....